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The Commonwealth of Argylia

“It's not gay if he's cute.”

Overview • Policies • People • Government • Economy • Rank • Trend • Cards

The Commonwealth of Argylia is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Felix Argyle The Cutest of bois with an iron fist, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, punitive income tax rates, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 7.685 billion Argylians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order and Education also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Felixgrad. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 77.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Argylian economy, worth a remarkable 2,357 trillion Felixes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 306,717 Felixes, with the richest citizens earning 7.1 times as much as the poorest.

Home renovation shows are increasingly popular, citizens with artificial limbs are forbidden to serve as beauty pageant judges, organ donation is compulsory, and theoretical science is only theoretical. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Argylia's national animal is the Neko, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is The Maid Miku Plushie.

Argylia is ranked 36,967^th in the world and 1,868^th in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 4,421.19 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

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