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The American Dream of Architeuthis

“I've been through the desert on a horse with no name.”

Category: Libertarian Police State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Location: United States

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise


The American Dream of Architeuthis is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Steve O'Shea with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, lack of airports, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 42.535 billion Architeuthisians are proud of their wide-ranging civil freedoms, and those who aren't tend to be dragged off the streets by men in dark suits and hustled into cars with tinted windows.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moistopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The enormous but inefficient Architeuthisian economy, worth a remarkable 5,082 trillion root of all evils a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 119,479 root of all evils, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

History textbook pages are used as impromptu tissues by distraught students, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed, heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste, and army doctors who come under attack defend themselves by using stethoscopes like nunchaku. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Architeuthis's national animal is the ample-rumped sloth, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Architeuthis is ranked 108,938th in the world and 39th in United States for Most Extreme, scoring 20.97 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.

Largest Populations: 7thMost Beautiful Environments: 131stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 195thBest Weather: 215thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 522ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 588thSmartest Citizens: 780thHealthiest Citizens: 786thLargest Governments: 801stLowest Crime Rates: 831stLongest Average Lifespans: 901stMost Advanced Public Education: 1,070thMost Pacifist: 1,286thSafest: 1,348thMost Influential: 1,361stHighest Food Quality: 1,787thMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,811thMost Cultured: 2,320thLargest Welfare Programs: 2,364thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,415thHighest Economic Output: 2,468thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2,645thTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 2,891stMost Secular: 6,167thMost Valuable International Artwork: 8,334thLargest Publishing Industry: 8,342ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 9,714thMost Compassionate Citizens: 11,658thMost Inclusive: 12,314thHighest Poor Incomes: 12,566thMost Rebellious Youth: 12,654thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 22,437thHighest Average Incomes: 26,388th
Lowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Cultured: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionHighest Food Quality: 1st in the regionBest Weather: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionMost Pacifist: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 2nd in the regionMost Inclusive: 2nd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 3rd in the regionTop
Highest Average Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 5th in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: None.