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The Coffee Lover Dictatorship of Albaniastaan

“There is no peace without control”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
All-Consuming
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Location: The North Pacific

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

The Coffee Lover Dictatorship of Albaniastaan is a huge, safe nation, ruled by President Quinmar Zcerk Frost with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, infamous sell-swords, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 965 million Albanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tirana. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 71.0%.

The all-consuming Albaniastaanian economy, worth 151 trillion Ki'ods a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 157,318 Ki'ods, with the richest citizens earning 7.5 times as much as the poorest.

President Quinmar Zcerk Frost's latest speech included a bizarre reference to MaxWow incontinence pads being 50% more absorbent than the next leading brand, weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law, increasing inclusiveness is a sign of the times, and billions of Ki'ods are being blown on orbital weapons development. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Albaniastaan's national animal is the Black eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Albaniastaan is ranked 122,118th in the world and 5,972nd in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,691.47 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 511thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,662ndMost Conservative: 1,854thLargest Insurance Industry: 2,674thTop
5%
Most Influential: 3,234thMost Patriotic: 3,407thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,769thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,171stLargest Mining Sector: 4,834thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5,769thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,770thMost Authoritarian: 6,006thMost Secular: 6,049thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,125thLargest Agricultural Sector: 7,212thLowest Crime Rates: 8,307thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9,520thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10,089thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,467thHighest Average Incomes: 13,924thTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 14,222ndLargest Black Market: 15,024thLargest Governments: 18,710thLongest Average Lifespans: 25,483rdMost Developed: 26,609thMost Advanced Public Education: 27,730th
Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 61st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 85th in the regionMost Conservative: 101st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 113th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 124th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 138th in the regionMost Patriotic: 141st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 176th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 188th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 195th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 218th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 251st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 273rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 298th in the regionMost Secular: 304th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 327th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 366th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 406th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 441st in the regionMost Extreme: 561st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 615th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 625th in the regionTop
10%
Most Influential: 832nd in the regionLargest Governments: 894th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1,235th in the regionMost Developed: 1,261st in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,299th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1,311th in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 256 » TheLandOfFunFunFun, United free lands, Austro-Bavarian States, Kastonvia, Q w e r t y, Ligmabaels, Orado, Neo Santos, Siwale, Card Kingdom, Tachycardia, Libertarianists States, Aerilia, The Confederation of Earth, Scroplia, Unsophisticate, Choi Aeguka, Neweath, Hulldom, Guer Aike, Ardonii, Runeda, Freedom and Democratic Socialist, Imperial Pieserged, The Austro Germanic Union, Cobolica, Individualist Catopia, Pallaith, The Rhein States, Ethnon, Ayuzhhhhh, Bankowiata, Thought Obliteration, Aenglaland, Communist Beijing Must be China, Kandorith, Yaorozu, Kaschovia, Shibutani, Filibustra, Selfgradatude, Varisland, New Lakemba, Corfad, Necromonia, Atrito, Canadamerica, Notyoutopia, Pazair, Bongo Mountain, and 206 others.Horrorlandian State, Bagojo, Talatena, The Arverni Lands, Riocht mor Daraen, Walter Jackson, Armadina, Kurkmeistan, Hardscrabble, Omnistria, Sojenre, Imperial Nation Nlaaciaroepmi, Kwaj, Meadowfields, Koda-Land, Int Nichochy, Guslantis, Ellbonnia, East Plate, Dromanius, Siatin, Simone Republic, Eternal Skies, Vexilia, The northern Polish territories, Laudesia, The Windmilluminati, Cynalan, Consumeistan, Federation Terra Australis, Felpolandia, Napnap, Detrivania, Chipoli, SamTamay, Parpyduckland, Mon Sold, Hopenadya, The Erie Doctrine, Dreadton, Loutsland, Low Woodland, Zokk, Davidianian, FLORRP, Sil Dorsett, Kayowa, Kopryana, PotatoFarmers, New Jerusalemm, Omicron Persei V111, North Bratislava, Merconitonitopia, Ohiyo, Sunto, Orhtezia, Regallio, Nationeer, -Virginia-, Seanat, Sri Temasekia, Unshleepd, Pinguioris, Landraya, Jorni, Yokciq Empire, Mesvice, Oannia, Kranostav, Xagill, Notans Kir, Intion North, South Japan, Radicaster, ExploitNation, KAP03land, Malta Comino Gozo, Greater Cesnica, Travislavania, Ishtimbine, Mazke, Bud Prussia, The empire of Muriguara, Democatic Donkeys, GrayingOut, TyGerria, Barxa, Wolffoxia, Chesstitans, Segmebel, Argylia, Heilhum Imperius, Boris Cult, Hamamura, Aless, The Serdey Islands, Soviet Terran, Dicko, Kobagia, United States of Medford, Manticore utopia, Wilkshire, Napnomadia, Cowbridge, Liberate World Order, Great Bights Mum, Cloydicia, Idotistanistan, Wisconsota, Galbadiana, Demidexia, Pen Blanityion, David Davidson, Alqaran, Maott, Artoriticitys, United States of Dictators, East Supple Lund, King Rainbow Cat, Hentaigraado, Former English Colony, Panama Coalition, Etanur, Antipodea and Allies, New American Nations, Everoscondrica, Cult of Silence, Soupoland, Tetan, Hiyzis, Pleroma Sans Romans, New Brazil of South, Darkanistan, Agencourt, Segesta, Holy Marcus Empire, Ice and Tinian, Tsandonown, Boennesis, Colonla, Pasargad, Frances Francis the First of France, United States of Americanas, Solmetria, The United Federation of los Filipinos, Smithsonia, The RandomLand, New Soges, New Donnaruna, New-Ferytland, The greatestish nation, Waystar Fujiwara International, Adria and the Slovenes, Two Yellow Star, Arstungry, Arostica, Iukatia, Uttarakhand, Piura, Furballland in TNP, Clan de Lobos, Eraver, Sangang, FurryFeet, Misdainana, Magnvm Dainamia, Harjad, Ereena, The Southern Union of Brazil, MONDSTADTes KAISEREICH, Straknov, Viriva, Great Star, Tehmistan, Lil Nasbol, Nordic-British Union, Neopie, UNION KINGDOMS, New Trisone, The New Las Vegas, Catalis, SORT, The Pyros, The Perimeter, Bandergreen, The Land of Lilies, Bahu Sing Sei, Viceroy Vincent, SteelFists, Vosdonia, Crystal Creation, Innocentic, Neptunian Military Administration, Twinbrook, Aratunda, Holy Axolotl, Non-Exploding Cupcake, Exkosia, Nuclear Matter, Stud Hoy, Zain, Sentinel Zeta Prime, Russila, Leef republic, Lucedeia, and Balto.