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The Republic of Abslandia

“Free men are not equal, equal men are not free”

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The Republic of Abslandia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Mordecai Vergoossen with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 13.768 billion Abslandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry and Education are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ravenholm. The average income tax rate is 88.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Abslandian economy, worth a remarkable 8,918 trillion Lire a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 647,793 Lire, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Renaissance frescos are being chiselled off public walls, builders across Abslandia are blocked up with orders for new public loos, holiday-makers leave on the same clandestine boats that illegal immigrants arrive in, and the fire brigade often deal with cases of burnt toast. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Abslandia's national animal is the Austral Penguin, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Abslandia is ranked 2,019^th in the world and 5^th in The Western Isles for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 7,623.13 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

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