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The Ongoing State of Absentia

“We Are A Bush. Move Along. With science!”

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The Ongoing State of Absentia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by youse with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, sprawling nuclear power plants, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 46.985 billion Absentians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The relatively small, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Middle of Nowhere. The average income tax rate is 79.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Absentian economy, worth an astonishing 26,164 trillion ergs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is a breathtaking 556,875 ergs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Recognizing the Absentian flag qualifies you for citizenship, confused-looking pigeons slide gently off frictionless window ledges, the silencing of dissent speaks volumes about the quality of Absentian democracy, and the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb. Crime is totally unknown. Absentia's national animal is the cambot, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Absentia is ranked 959^th in the world and 1^st in CDW Federation for Most Patriotic, with 131.21 flags saluted per person per day.

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