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The Dirty but Lucrative Affairs of A Goblinoid Merchant

“Everything has its price...”

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The Dirty but Lucrative Affairs of A Goblinoid Merchant is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Mr Happy with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 10.119 billion Goblinoid Merchants are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mr Happy's Funland. The average income tax rate is 5.0%.

The powerhouse Goblinoid economy, worth 847 trillion GOLDS a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 83,747 GOLDS, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

The national sporting identity is represented by a talking burger and a singing smartphone, employees are told they can avoid traffic jams by starting work at 4 AM, the Grasshopper stadiums are open 24/7, and an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. A Goblinoid Merchant's national animal is the Grasshopper, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is CONSUM.

A Goblinoid Merchant is ranked 194,495^th in the world and 14^th in The Embassy for Lowest Crime Rates, with 55.56 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.

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