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The Dirty but Lucrative Affairs of A Goblinoid Merchant

“Everything has its price...”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Location: The Embassy

Regional Influence: Power


The Dirty but Lucrative Affairs of A Goblinoid Merchant is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Mr Happy with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 10.119 billion Goblinoid Merchants are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mr Happy's Funland. The average income tax rate is 5.0%.

The powerhouse Goblinoid economy, worth 847 trillion GOLDS a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 83,747 GOLDS, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

The national sporting identity is represented by a talking burger and a singing smartphone, employees are told they can avoid traffic jams by starting work at 4 AM, the Grasshopper stadiums are open 24/7, and an increasing percentage of the population's youth have homosexual parents. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. A Goblinoid Merchant's national animal is the Grasshopper, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is CONSUM.

A Goblinoid Merchant is ranked 194,495th in the world and 14th in The Embassy for Lowest Crime Rates, with 55.56 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.

Largest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3,327thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5,087thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 5,482ndHighest Disposable Incomes: 10,335thLargest Mining Sector: 11,656thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 12,747thLargest Gambling Industry: 14,161stFattest Citizens: 14,943rdLargest Retail Industry: 15,888thHighest Drug Use: 18,010thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 19,353rdMost Stationary: 20,389thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 20,828thHighest Economic Output: 22,231st
Most Stationary: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 1st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 2 » Catherine Louise Marie Ernestine Freneau and Lower Slobbovia.