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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee

“Guns, Germs, Steel, and really smooth Mochas!”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Average

Location: Wysteria

Regional Influence: Vassal

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The Richly Blended Peoples of Koffee is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Generalissimo Barista Espresso with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, museums and concert halls, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 46.561 billion Richly Blended Peopleses are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Full City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Koffeean economy, worth an astonishing 40,964 trillion Cuppas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 879,794 Cuppas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 8,241,938 per year while the poor average 7,897, a ratio of 1,043 to 1.

Diners regard burgers made from mechanically reclaimed cow protein as "proper meat", the Great Pyramid of Full City can be seen from miles away, Generalissimo Barista Espresso's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Koffee as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. Koffee's national animal is the Schrodingers Cat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Koffee is ranked 294,316th in the world and 59th in Wysteria for Lowest Crime Rates, with 1.72 law-abiding acts per hour.

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Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 3rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 5thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7thLargest Populations: 11thLargest Insurance Industry: 12thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 19thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 21stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 27thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 32ndLargest Mining Sector: 39thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 41stLargest Gambling Industry: 41stSmartest Citizens: 53rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 62ndLargest Publishing Industry: 83rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 97thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 194thRudest Citizens: 210thMost Cultured: 250thLargest Retail Industry: 628thMost Rebellious Youth: 991stLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,051stMost Corrupt Governments: 1,430thMost Efficient Economies: 1,817thTop
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,009thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 9,021stTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 19,046thMost Pro-Market: 27,769th
Top
5%
Largest Populations: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 3rd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4th in the regionMost Cultured: 4th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 6th in the region

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